Answers to my dad's questions

I figure I might as well strike while the iron is hot and respond to the multitude of questions posed by my dad.

- How observant religiously are mainstream Antalyans?
Not at all. Less so, in fact, than the United States. Turkey is laik, similar to the French model. The separation between church and state is present but it manifests itself in different ways. Turkey is, in general, aggressively secular. This may seem like a peculiar use of words, but it is, I think, the best way to describe the predominant mindset. Of course, this mindset isn’t actually all that predominant, considering the religious party has a majority. But in general, city-dwellers and people who live further west tend to be less religious. For example, I don’t think my host brother has ever actually been inside a mosque, except historical ones that have been converted to museums.

- Are mosques prevalent? Are there muezzin in the towers?
In Antalya, somewhat, although no more so than churches in a similarly sized American city. It isn’t like Cairo, “the city of a thousand minarets.” There are muezzin and they do chant the call to prayer five times daily. I can hear it from my house but it doesn’t bother me; it’s must less irksome than the guy who is up at 6:00 yelling about how amazing his simit is (simit is sort of ring sesame-encrusted bread).

- What Muslim beliefs are honored and observed, and which are not?
No one eats pork, just because it is impossible (or extremely difficult) to find, and while most people wouldn’t care about eating it on religious grounds, most people think pork is dirty. There are wild pigs in Turkey, though, and I’m told that there are some farms where pork is produced for export to Bulgaria and other (Christian) places. The vast majority of people have no religious objection to drinking alcohol, at least not in Antalya. Antalya is pretty secular, even by Turkish standards. Not nearly as secular, as, say Izmir, but more secular than Istanbul and much more so than Ankara.
A lot of other things are not so much Muslim as they are just folk traditions. The evil eye (nazar boncuk) is everywhere, on basically every door and sometimes on babies, to ward off bad luck. People invoke the name of God by saying “mashallah” and “inshallah” and similar expressions that come from Arabic, even if they aren’t religious. A lot of people play with tesbih (prayer beads) in their idle time. These have 33 beads, which, if counted 3 times, equal 99 – so one can recite the 99 names of Allah if one is so inclined. Most people aren’t, though, and just use them as worry beads. I have a set that I like to play with – I don’t smoke, so I need something to do with my hands while I wait.
Most people don’t pray at all. I can’t stress enough the fact that Turkey is secular, and most definitely not Arab.

- How does your host mom shop for dinner? Does she shop every day, or does she shop for a week? What are grocery stores like as compared to a Hannaford’s here? What choices do you have?
A little of both. There are little shops on basically every corner. If you like, they will even have someone send up whatever you want to your apartment. Every morning our kapıcı (doorman is perhaps the best way to translate this) bring us the newspaper and a fresh loaf of bread. If we run out of yogurt or bread, we can go to the little store. For more regular shopping, there is a small grocery store in a mall near our house that my mom probably goes to once or twice weekly. Most things we get about once a week, some things fresh (like bread and fruit). Maybe every month or two we go to a big “hypermarket”, which is about the size of a standard supermarket in America – maybe a little bigger, but definitely not as big as a Sam’s Club or BJ’s.
The choices are not nearly as extensive as what we are used to in America. For some items – instant coffee, tea, nutella products and associated knock-offs – there are more choices, but in general it’s less. There aren’t nearly as many different types of soda: you have basically Coke, Diet Coke, Fanta and Sprite, although you get a choice of a few different brands. There is basically one type of beer in Turkey – Efes, and imports are expensive. There’s also Tuborg, but it’s produced under license by the Efes company, so it doesn’t really count. There is no ice cream in the stores, just individual serving-sizes. We don’t have a regular freezer anyway, just a deep-freeze. It’s a tiny bit difficult to find normal coffee (filter, non-instant, non-Turkish). A lot of things are made by Ülker, which is a Turkish company that produces a lot of candy and also Cola Turka. The money that Ülker makes, though, is called yeşil para – green money (green being the color of Islam). Ülker tends to give money to conservative causes in Turkey and my family, for instance, generally prefers not to buy Ülker products.

- If you go into a pharmacy, is everything out on a shelf or do you have to ask someone to retrieve every item for you?
Yep, you have to ask someone. Pharmacies are a lot more common here because a) grocery stores don’t have their own pharmacies and b) hospitals don’t really have their own pharmacies, so you have to get the medicine yourself. They also seem to make a lot of money selling Viagra, at least judging by the large window displays. (I don’t know if you need a prescription for this or not; somehow I doubt it.)

- Are there more misconceptions about Americans that Turks hold that you could share?
Nothing all that new or interesting, other than that our government isn’t particularly well-liked in this part of the world. There is a best-selling novel here called “Metal Storm” which describes a US-led invasion of Turkey, and people actually seem to think that this is something fairly realistic, and something they worry about. There is also a movie called “Valley of the Wolves: Iraq”, which features, among other things a (Jewish) American doctor who sells organs from Iraqi prisoners in Abu Ghraib to businessmen in Tel Aviv. During the invasion of Iraq, US forces captured Turkish commandos operating in the north and pictures were taken of the hooded Turkish soldiers. While the prisoners were eventually released, the “hood incident” was not exactly a high point in US-Turkish relations. The movie is based on the embarrassment caused by this incident.
What else? A lot of the stereotypes are just based on what people see in the movies: we all have big cars, eat fast food 24/7, snort coke 24/7, we all love basketball, etc.
A lot of people think that the Armenian and the Jewish lobbies are very powerful in America, which is, to a certain extent, true.

- What do they think of other nationalities, such as the British, or Germans, or Asians?
In Antalya we get a lot of tourists, along with people who retire or move to Turkey. Most Turkish people believe that pretty much all foreigners from central or northern Europe are “cold”. While Turkish people are a warm and hospitable people, the worst of the tourist stereotypes are as follows: British people – kind of white trash. Drink a lot. Not wearing enough clothing. Germans – cold. Extremely cold. Also drink too much. Russians – cheap. (Think 5 or 6 people in a 2-person hotel room cheap.) Drink too much. Israelis – same as the Russians. Maybe because a lot of them are from Russia. Asians – there is only one country in Asia, and that is Japan. I feel bad for the Thai students, who have to deal with “Japan? Japan?” and “konichiwa” whenever they go outside. In general, Asian tourists (read: Japanese) prefer to go to historical places, such as Istanbul and Kapadokya, and stay away from the beaches. Americans – surprisingly, people like us. We don’t come to Turkey so much, so there aren’t nearly as many stereotypes just because they are’t as well known.

- It would also be interesting to hear more about students in your school. Do they pay attention in class? Do they write everything diligently? Do any of them pass notes, or throw paper at each other, or throw pencils up to stick in the ceilings? Are there disciplinary issues for harmless, mindless mischief?
Not so much. There is more discipline in the sense that teachers yell a lot more, but less in the sense that no one really listens to the teachers. All the teachers have decided to crack down on people bringing food into their classrooms, which most people solve by just putting their food in their bag or waiting until the teacher isn’t looking. Classes are a lot bigger here so the teachers can’t really enforce discipline as much. Side conversations pretty much occur all the time. Students don’t form lines (“queue up”, as I’ve been taught in English class), instead they just form a mob. I’m tall, so I actually do okay for myself. People sometimes pass notes, but usually its easier just to talk across the room to whoever you want to speak with.
In Turkey there are no substitute teachers. If the teacher doesn’t come, you just have a free period. Sometimes people play football (soccer) with a piece of paper, or have fights with the chalk. In general they don’t pay as much attention in class, but they somehow manage to write all the important things down. A lot of times students will sleep and the teacher will either not notice or just not care. People also have all sorts of cool tricks they can do that involve twirling their pens.

- Do some kids drop out?
Yes. If, after 8th grade, you want to stop school, you just stop going to school. Some people do. Some girls do because it is forbidden to wear the headscarf in school, but most of them just wear it outside of school. I’ve heard that in some places girls wear wigs to get around this, but, as I’ve said, Antalya is really secular, and I’ve only actually seen one girl in my school who wears the headscarf while not in school.

- What if a kid loves sports - you mention that in 11th and 12th grade all they do is prep for the exam - do the athletes just give up their sports for two years?
Pretty much, if they want to get into a good university and get a job. There aren’t really school teams – we have matches with other schools, but usually they just organize a team a week or two before the match and practice during lunch. After school, everyone has private study classes to attend, and there aren’t sports teams (at least not at my public school – perhaps some private schools do). If you want to play sports, you rent a field and get a group together to play football on the weekend. Same goes for music and just about any other hobby outside of school.
I was late to class yesterday and rather than showing up late, I decided to sit in on a conference with all the 12th graders in my school. One of the teachers asked if any of the students were still trying to have any relations with people during the weekends – social activities and whatnot. About 25% of the students raised their hands, and laughed nervously. The teacher then basically told them, good for you for wanting to have fun and be young, but you really should be studying more for your own good. And he’s right.

- Do any kids hold after school jobs? If so, what do they do?
It’s hard to get a job in Turkey, even for university graduates. That being said, I know a few people in my school who work in hotels during the summer, and they tend to have better English than their peers. Some of them have even picked up a few bits of Russian. It’s not very common though. Bulatcan, my host brother, had a tourism-related job for a week or so. I think it was kind of like a bellhop type-thing, but he had to stop after he hurt his wrist. Some of the kids from poorer families help out around the house or the job, I think. Having an actual job during the school year is unheard of – actually, the same is true in Europe to a large extent.

Money, and a quick story (not in that order)

I got back from our mid-stay camp yesterday night. I’ll probably talk about it in a different post. After only 3 days away, I had 28 new messages in my email inbox. I read about 3, gave up, and decided to write a blog rather than address the backlog of emails.

A few hours ago I was walking back from the gym I’ve recently joined. It’s kind of nice having joined a gym in Turkey. The differences between a gym in Turkey (or at least the one I go to) and a gym in America are kind of like the differences in shopping. In America, the employees are there if you need them, but they pretty much stay out of your way unless you ask them for help. When you walk into a store in Turkey, the first thing you usually notice (depending on the time you are there) is that there are frequently more people working than there are actual customers. This is especially true of Turkcell stores, which seem to be able to employ massive amounts of people despite the fact that they are everywhere – I have literally seen a block in Turkey where the storefronts were Turkcell, Vodafone, Tobacco Shop, Turkcell, Avea (another cell phone company here), a general store, and another Turkcell. All 3 Turkcells had customers. If you walk in a clothing store, and show an interest in a certain item, the employee won’t hesitate to offer you his or her opinion on it. At first I thought they were a little pushy (“so do you want to buy it? Do you? Do you?”) but now I’m actually a little disappointed when I go in a store an no one comes forward to helps me.

Anyways, the gym is the same way. When I first started, Tolga, the guy who works there said, “okay, let’s get started.” And he sits me down and works me mercilessly for the better part of an hour. It’s basically like having your own personal trainer to tell you what to do, especially if I go at a time when it isn’t so crowded – of course I’m not the only one who gets this “special treatment”.

Another thing. We have municipal elections approaching in Antalya. It’s pretty likely that AKP, the conservative, somewhat religious party, will win here, because the current mayor is from AKP and is pretty well liked. That, and the fact that AKP has several times more money to spend on this election than anyone else. AKP puts that money to good use by having vans drive around with pictures of the candidates and loudspeakers on the top, playing surprisingly additive songs like “Muratpaşa (a district in Antalya) is our home”. I always have to suppress the urge to dance whenever one of the vans passes by, because the song is very addictive. Luckily, I can’t understand all the Turkish, so I don’t get the full Orwellian effect. CHP (Social Democrats) and MHP (Nationalists) have vans as well, but I don’t see them as often. So basically campaign advertising in Turkey is like the Blues Brothers, I think. At least they don’t have those stupid little signs on the side of the road. I feel like people are much more likely to vote for someone because they have a song stuck in their head than because they’ve seen someone’s name written more than the other guy.

So I’m still walking back from the gym. Even though I’m actually really skinny (hence the reason why I go to the gym), I’m taller than nearly everyone in Turkey, and when I’m wearing a rain jacket (because it’s always raining in Antalya) I can look pretty big. Someone got my attention while I was walking by the mall parking lot near my house (I live within 2 minutes’ walk of 2 medium-sized malls), and asked me if I could help him with his car. He pointed out that I looked athletic and could probably manage to push the car, and his flattery must have worked, because I, of course, agreed to help him with his car. He asked me if I was from Antalya, and I said, no, I’m actually from America. He told me his wife was Russian, and pointed out his half-Russian son, trotting alongside.

So after we got his car running, he thanked me with a wave and an (English) “thank you very much!” At first I was a little upset. I generally don’t like it when I tell people in Turkish that I’m from America, and then they say something like “welcome”. I guess I feel like if I’m speaking Turkish and getting along fine, why not continue in Turkish with a “hoş geldiniz” instead of a “welcome”. And then I remembered what I said upon hearing his son was Russian: “privet”. So I guess it cuts both ways. People try to be friendly and hospitable. All I can do is enjoy the friendly sentiment, and respond in Turkish.

So that’s the story part of this post. The second part is just a brief explanation of the money here, with thanks to Wikipedia for the dates.

Until 2005, Turkey used a currency known simply as the Turkish lira. This worked fine until the 1980s, when inflation necessitated constantly adding zeroes to the money. Although the Turkish government kept adding zeros, it never reached “hyperinflation” – it wasn’t like Zimbabwe. People could still afford everything, it just made international trade a little more difficult, and, of course, all those zeroes get confusing.

It got the point where in the early 2000s, a can of coke was usually around a million Turkish lira. For a tourist-oriented country, this was seen as kind of embarrassing, not to mention confusing for foreigners when they look at a menu and a cup of tea is 2.500.000 [2.5 million], or see that their hotel bill for the night is 220.000.000 [220 million], or they want to buy a car and it is 70.000.000.000 [70 billion] (in Turkey they use periods instead of commas).

Anyways, in 2005, the government had had enough. Luckily, the lira had stabilized and was actually rising against the dollar. They decided to remove 6 zeroes from the currency, so the 2.5 million lira cup of tea was now only 2.5 lira. Except to distinguish, they called this the “New Turkish Lira”, commonly known by its Turkish abbreviation “YTL”. The YTL was divided into 100 sub-units, called “kuruş” – basically like cents. There is no 1 kuruş coin – people here don’t care about exact change like they do in America. All the prices are rounded to the nearest “5”, and because tax is included in everything, not just added on top of the normal price, you don’t have to worry about this like you do in the states.

Another thing about the kuruş coins – the 50 kuruş coin and the 1 lira coin look almost exactly like the 1 euro coin and the 2 euro coin, respectively. They are made from the same metals, and weigh, I’m told, the same. While it could be that this was purely coincidental, it was more likely a political move, saying “look, we’re ready to join the European Union, because our money looks rather similar”. Either that, or it was a way for Turkish people living in Europe to cheat vending machine owners, because I’m told as well that the coins will work in vending machines that accept Euro. So it’s kind of like how you can use Canadian money in the US. The major difference is that a Canadian quarter is worth almost the same as its American counterpart, whereas a 1 YTL coin it worth ¼ of its Euro counterpart.

On 1 January, the money changed yet again. The “New” was dropped, and now the currency is known once more as the Turkish Lira, or TL. The value hasn’t changed at all, just the name. For a year you can continue to use your old money, and after that, you have to take it to a bank to exchange it for new notes. I’m kind of amazed, though, how quickly the money has changed. I still sometimes see an old $20 bill when I'm in America, even though the money changed... what, maybe three years ago? In Turkey, probably 2/3rds of the bills in my wallet right now are new, and it hasn’t even been 2 months since the money changed.

The coins have been changed so that they no longer look like the Euro coins, and, in my opinion, the new coins are prettier as well. Everyone, however, seems to hate the new paper money, and I agree. The old money was made of some sort of cloth-type paper, whereas the new one seems like it is made with cheap printer paper. Furthermore, on the front side of the money, there are pictures of people. It’s the first time that the Turkish Republic has ever put anyone other than Atatürk on its money. Some people think that this is a deliberate AKP attempt to diminish the role of Atatürk in every day life. I just thing its stupid that there are people on the money, and no one has any idea who any of them are. Literally. Except for the 200 lira note (which, because it is worth like $120, I don’t see very much), which has Yunus Emre, the other people are completely unknown. The old money was bigger as well, and had pictures of historical sights instead of the “famous” Turks who no one knows. The new money also, according to some, looks like the Euro (it’s colorful, which is a major improvement over American money), and also features, on certain notes, a smiling Atatürk. A lot of people don’t really like that either – they grew up accustomed to a serious, stern Atatürk, and the idea of him cracking a smile on the money seems a little bit weird, I guess.

The money can be a little confusing, because even though they got rid of all the zeroes, many people still say “million”. So if your sandwich that costs 3 TL, the waiter may say “3 million”. How much is the water, you wonder? “Five hundred thousand.” My mom doesn’t understand the new money, and she always tells me things in millions and billions. As if that wasn’t confusing enough, sometimes people still say “YTL”, even though now it is just “TL.” So your sandwich is “3 YTL” (pronounced yay-tay-lay). Fun, isn’t it? And many places don’t accept credit cards. The little corner store accepts credit cards, but the electric company, for instance, does not. To pay your bills, you have to go wait in line and pay in cash.

I’ll write about the camp later, maybe. Anything else people want to here about? I might write more about the election, but writing about politics in Turkey makes me feel a little uncomfortable just because I really don’t understand it so well and I don’t want to misrepresent things.

The rules of Turkish cuisine, as noticed by me

- add salt to everything. Everything needs more salt.

- yogurt makes everything better. Pasta, rice, meat, soup... yogurt is also an elixir that has the power to solve any and all health problems.

- drinking while you are eating a meal is optional. One glass of water is more than enough to last an entire meal.

- you can drink tea with anything. While I was in Norway at a pizza restaurant, my host brother drank tea. With pizza.

- on that note, tea is always available. Much like the fact that many workplaces have coffee pots in America, teakettles are pretty much ubiquitous.

- if you are my host brother and you are drinking something hot, add 3-5 sugar cubes. I've seen him add sugar to hot chocolate.

- if you buy something from the canteen at school, offer to share it with anyone who passes by, no matter what it may be. If they don't want any, insist.

- if someone offers you food and you don't wish to accept, patting your hand on your stomach a few times is an acceptable refusal.

- everything at the school canteen is made by Ülker.

- ayran (yogurt + water + salt) is delicious.

- so is kokoreç (lamb intestines).

- it seems like you drink Coke and/or Fanta more often than water.

- everybody loves American fast food: McDonalds and Burger King are the favorites, but Pizza Hut, Dominos and Dunkin' Donuts (in Istanbul) are also liked. Starbucks is nice, but expensive.

- real coffee is hard to find. People drink instant coffee, usually pre-sweetened. Turkish coffee isn't drunk all that regularly.

- ketchup and mayonnaise are the main condiments, used not only on fries, but also on pizza and pasta.

- eggs are always a little runny.

- white bread is delicious and should accompany all meals.

- a salad is topped with olive oil and lemon juice, maybe vinegar. Sometimes nar eksısı, which translates as... pomegranate vinegar?

- simit is the ultimate "grab and go" food, and you can buy it on the street for 50 kuruş. (Simit is a round type of bread covered with sesame seeds. Wiki it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simit)

- people love to extol the virtues of rakı, fish, and white cheese when consumed ensemble.

- dinner (at least in my house) always has soup.

- there are dozens of restaurants, yet they all serve the exact same thing. You can walk past a row of dönerciler (döner restaurants), all of which have exactly the same menu.

- (non-Turkish) ethnic food does not exist. (Italian pasta is an exception. I've heard Mexican food also exits, although I've yet to see any.) Turkish food tends to be simple, some might even say bland. People don't mix tastes - if something is spicy, it's spicy, and if something is sweet, it's sweet. Rice tastes like rice. Pasta tastes like pasta.

- the word "pasta" means "cake", while "kek" can also mean "cake", and "makarana" means not only macaroni, but all types of pasta.

- no pork.

The roller coaster that is my life

I think within the exchange student community, comparing one’s life to a roller-coaster is perhaps the oldest cliché in the book – like a Valentine’s Day poem that is some variation on the theme “rose”.

Some people like roller-coasters. I, however, am not one of them. When I went with my family to Disney Land (or World, whichever one is in Florida), we had the special pass-tickets that let you ride Space Mountain first thing in the morning, before the regular riff-raff get their turn. I rode it once, and managed to survive. Because there was still no line, I felt obliged to ride it again – I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to ride Space Mountain twice in five minutes! Of course, the second time around I threw up.

Right now I also sometimes feel like I need to vomit from the whiplash between the highs and the lows of my life. Our fifteen-day term holiday ended this Monday. My two-week break was a pleasant, if extremely boring, respite from the (also boring) school day. I hung out with the other AFSers in Antalya and a few others who came with their families here on holiday. It was… pleasant, I guess. It filled the time. I wish that from time to time a male student would come, though. There are three other girls in Antalya, and so far the only students who have come to Antalya have also been girls. Now, I have nothing against the female kind, but the fact that all the girls have 7:00 curfews makes everyone’s life pretty boring, especially given that I was in the habit of sleeping until noon.

And there’s also the fact that I always feel guilty hanging out with the other foreigners. Nothing against them, but I’d much rather be spending my time with Turkish people. Unfortunately, spending time with young Turkish people is hard, as I’ll explain, albeit in a roundabout fashion.

Today in school we had a 100-minute practice test for the ÖSS, which is the Turkish university entrance exam. I decided not to participate, since I don’t need to practice for a test I’m not going to take, and instead just sat in my school’s “garden”, which in fact is just asphalt surrounded by a fence topped with barbed wire. Some of the better schools have actual signs of natural life in their gardens, but not ours.

Actually, I kind of marveled at this fact at the time. In my school, pretty much what I do is up to me. I go to all my lessons and sit quietly, studying Turkish, reading, or (occasionally) sleeping, but I don’t think it would really make a difference if I decided to stop coming to my lessons. My school doesn’t really do anything special to accommodate me – so my report card for the first term, which I’ll hopefully be able to pick up tomorrow (long story) is going to contain a lot of 0s (the lowest grade) and 5s (the highest), because teachers either decide that since I haven’t done anything I don’t really deserve a grade (the 0s) or they just decide they like me and they don’t really care (the 5s). In theory, AFS and my school are supposed to work out a way in which I receive alternate assignments, but neither one has shown any signs of doing so, at least not yet. I’m definitely OK with the current state of affairs; I have basically no school work, besides the ever-difficult struggle with learning Turkish.

But anyways, I was thinking about the ÖSS, and some conversations I’ve had with Turks. The test, unfortunately, basically makes being a teenager impossible. After school, students generally go to private study schools for the test. In a 10th grade class like mine, they usually will go two or three days during the week, and sometimes one day during the weekend. By the time they are in the 12th grade, they’re probably going five days a week. In Turkey, there are no after-school activities, except for studying. When students don’t have classes, frequently they just go home and sleep or study, filling out book after book of multiple-choice ÖSS test-prep questions.

Nor is the ÖSS the only test. In order to “win” the ÖSS and gain admittance to a university (the ÖSS not only determines which university you get to go to, but also if you are in the lucky 1/3rd of high school students who get to attend university at all), you need to be in a good high school. There’s a test for this, too, taken in 8th grade. So 7th and 8th graders have their own private courses to go to. Sometimes they start even earlier. All this combines to make my social life a bit limited. Sometimes I can go to a café (regular café, internet café, or the ever-popular PS3 café) after school with some school friends. But the activities I’m used to in America – sports, clubs, etc. – don’t exist here. I’m trying to find an organized activity to do after school; maybe I’ll take music or dance (yes, dance) lessons.

Now, pretty much everyone here dislikes this competitiveness, and I’m sure most of my readers probably don’t like the sound of it either. But the unfortunate reality is that there really isn’t anything else that can be done. What do you do when there are three people who apply for every one spot in a university? There simply isn’t money to accommodate more. An objective test like the ÖSS is pretty much the only way they can sort out who goes to university and who doesn’t.

I should note as well that if you are a Turkish citizen and you win the ÖSS, you get to attend university for free. (Everyone says “win” the ÖSS, not “pass” or, “do well at”, in Turkish you also talk about “winning” money if you have a good job.) So people who might think that the American system is a panacea should consider that you can attend the best university in Turkey for free, while an American university comparable to Boğazıçı University or Middle East Technical University would probably cost upwards of $40,000 dollars a year.

What else: today, in particular, I saw that Turks my age really believe in conspiracy theories, especially ones that involve Israel. Israel isn’t all that popular in Turkey at the moment… actually, my understanding is its pretty unpopular everywhere save Israel and the US now. The things I’ve heard range from the Da Vinci Code to that Nicholas Cage movie where he finds the secret Masonic treasure to some things that probably have their roots in the Protocols of the Elders of Zion – although I should say that as a Jew who draws a clear distinction between Jewishness and Israeliness, I have never gotten in any arguments here. A lot of people also seem legitimately interested in the possibility that the US could conceivably go to war with Turkey.

I also have to deal with the fact that, apparently, my life in America is EXACTLY LIKE every single Hollywood movie in the minds of my Turkish schoolmates. (Sometimes I try to explain what the American stereotypes of Turks are – first of all, Turks and Arabs are one and the same, and second of all… Midnight Express.) Of course, no one has heard of Maine, and people find the idea that I live in a town of 8,000 extremely quaint. So people want to know what kind of drugs you can buy on the streets in America. Or how the relations are between white people and black people. Have I been to Harlem? What are the “Red people” (Turkish hasn’t really caught up as far as political correctness, I’m afraid) like? Can I teach them street language? Do I have a gun? I have tried to explain the size and heterogeneousness of America, but now I usually just settle for yes-or-no answers that are usually gross oversimplifications and frequently out-and-out lies. That’s probably how these stereotypes get started in the first place – bored exchange students with nothing better to do than make up hilarious stories about how you can buy heroin in the super markets in America, and you have to carry a gun to protect yourself when you go to get the mail. I haven’t actually said these things. But I’ve thought about it.

So I guess my spirits are good at the moment. My sense of humor is with me. I have a killer headache that I haven’t been able to shake for a few days, probably because my sinuses are ridiculously clogged and no one in Turkey uses Kleenex. Ah well.